21st Century Teenage Guys

Welcome, girls, to the 21st century boy… Their natural habitat is a party filled with the stench of under-aged drinking, drug abuse and premarital sex. Their diet mainly consists of a fair amount of flirting and heart breakage. They are commonly known as homoplayersapiens in the scientific world. As you can see they groom themselves in such a way that they develop sort of like a beehive of hair on their heads, they workout for hours on end and use illegal steroids all in the efforts of getting “ripped”… all very attractive things, let’s not lie. But now, in the process of them working on their outer appearance they completely forget about working on the inner appearance, so at the end of the day they just become big blobs of skin and bone with nothing to excite the brain.

I guess they still go to school and they learn, but most of them learn the minimal amount… barely reaching an average of 70% for any of their subjects. School becomes a joke to them, just a place where they can find girls to mess around with. And girls. become. a mere after-thought. Girls become things, things they can just play around with for as long as they want and when the game becomes a bore, they just throw it away… no questions asked. Then the next guy comes long and the game looks quite fun, like nothing he’s ever seen before until he starts to play… andddd there goes the game, not even an effort made to throw it away, it’s just left there to wonder…

 

(Update)*DISCLAIMER* I may have been generalizing, slightly. 

 

 

Millennials-Part 1

As a millennial,  I witness the things going on these days, first hand. I’m very much aware of the fact that I too am not perfect and the older generations will find more flaws in our generation than I find in it but that’s a story for another day. Today, I want to focus on one thing, and that one thing is relationships these days… The broad spectrum. The broad spectrum that is relationships. Now I don’t just mean love relationships, I also mean friendship relationships and family relationships, etc.

Before I get into anything though, I just want to say welcome to my blog! If this is your first time here, thanks for stopping by! I hope you stick around, I’m quite an interesting person and my creative juices are flowing again 🙂 so you can expect to read some interesting stuff soon

 

So STORY TIME!!!

There’s this guy, let’s call him George- now I’ve been friends with him for about 5 years (he’s like a brother to me)… now I don’t know if you agree but that’s quite a while. But anyway. There’s  a girl too, we can call her Helen – and she has joined the Squad (my friendship group) recently but before that she really used to work on my nerves, she still does but I’ve learnt to tolerate it you know? Which btw is a big thing for me to do. So George started crushing on Helen a few months ago and he’s been crushing hard. Eventually she started liking him too.. and they’re all cutesie and stuff. Like she asked him to go to a youth dinner we had and that’s actually how it all started but their friendship just grew from there but a friendship with the hope of something more. Now let me just mention that my dear friend George is probably the most gentlemanly guy you will ever meet. He is super sweet and knows just how to treat girls and in the 5 years that I’ve known him so far he hasn’t given me a reason to believe otherwise. So through the past few months I’ve been vouching for George, all because I know what type of guy he is and because I know he won’t mess with her. Now, Helen and I are goodish friends right? I mean I’ve grown to be actually quite fond of her and because of that I would obviously look out for her and basically anyone else in the Squad (cause I’m Mother Hen, as they called me.) So last week Tuesday a bunch of us (me, the Squad, some of the girls’ boyfriends, George was there too because Helen invited him) went to get some dinner and then we watched a movie after. During the movie, Helen and George were holding hands!!! CUTEST THING! So that’s when we all knew; “They might as well make it official, because they’re gonna be dating before this year ends.”

After that group get-together, Helen started getting really distant. She stopped replying to my messages, and I mean she full-on read them and didn’t bother to reply but I left it and then George told me that she was doing the same… Now let me just mention that I was pretty much like Cupid because I helped him with her and I helped her with him.

George, had plans to take her on a really amazing date and then ask her out on this date then before he could even get to asking her on this date she sent him this:  “Sorry that I’ve been distant lately, I have been very busy with work. How are things? Btw, I really appreciate our friendship, it’s always nice to get a guy’s view on things without it needing to be more than friendship. Hope we can get together sometime in the holidays.”

let’s end the story right there

 

The job that she talks about is her little holiday job, she works 4 hours a day and she can go in whenever she wants so I find that excuse slightly lame. Now when George sent me this screenshot and asked me if she had just friend zoned him, I couldn’t answer him. I mean that’s definitely what she did but I couldn’t understand  what she was thinking. Let’s just realize that she likes him. How could she friend zone him? And then I tried asking her but once again just reads and doesn’t reply… and that’s when I lost it. She had been leading him on this whole time. She goes on about how she’s never had a boyfriend and she cries because she’s single but when the opportunity arises she takes it and throws it in the furthest toilet. Now I can fully understand if it’s because she didn’t like him but what did she think was gonna happen after she just went with it after a few months? Did she think he was going to get over her if she just dragged it out? Did she think he would eventually forget about her? With all these questions to be asked I can answer them all by saying… leading him on was not the right thing to do.

JUMPING BACK INTO STORY LAND!!!

After she didn’t reply to my messages, I took it to the group chat and brought the other girls in too… I said what I wanted to say in the nicest insulting way and then… when she finally replied. World War # happened and then she turned it all on me. She asked me questions that she knew the answers to. Questions like “Who gave you the right to mess around in my life and who gave you the right to tell me how to live my life?” and I hate to break it to her but that’s how friendship works. if you don’t want people in your business please become a recluse and go live on a mountain somewhere and go off the grid, grow your own vegetables,etc. Just stay away from people.

ending the story again

 

BACK TO THE POINT OF THIS POST.

I see how people do this type of thing all the time these days, older people are always telling me that today’s youth just doesn’t know how to do it right anymore. And I hate to say it but most people genuinely do not know how to do it. People are dating online, they meet someone online and somehow develop a great relationship and they start dating without ever meeting each other in person, first of all in this sick world that we live in; how do you know for sure that someone is who they say they are? You can never know. And then there’s people just dating because it’s fun and they just want to date that person because of the things that person has to offer. I always thought you should date someone with the intentions of marrying that person some day; I mean if it doesn’t work out then obviously it wasn’t meant to be but there’s no need to rush into things? Am I right?

Anyway, before I rant about everything that’s wrong with this world I’ll end it right there. I’ll give you some time to think about what I said.

Please don’t hesitate to tell me what you think in the comments, I really do enjoy getting feedback and I’d love to hear what you think of my story!

 

Check out my previous post for a little bit of weirdness: South Africanism 101 – South African words and terms

 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have an amazing day!

 

 

South Africanism 101 – South African words and terms

Welcome back to another post about SOUTH AFRICA!!! The other day I was thinking that we South Africans have a very diverse English… when I say this I don’t mean ‘dialect’, I mean the words we use are a mix of Afrikaans and English and we put them into every language and everyone knows what you’re saying. The truly South African terms and words unite us in the coolest way! I have looked up some South African words, I thought of my favorite one’s and then I asked my friends and family what their favorite one’s are and I have compiled quite a list.

So… here we go        *drum roll*

In no particular order…

Top 1o South African Words and Terms:

  1. “Bakkie”- A bakkie is a pick up truck. Don’t ask me why it’s a bakkie because in the Afrikaans language a ‘bakkie’ is directly translated to a small bowl so uhmm… someone was a bit off in the naming..bakkie-kayla-blog
  2. “Dinges” – This is the go to word when you don’t know what something is called or when you can’t remember someone’s name. I’ll use it in a sentence quickly, “YOu know that thing I ate yesterday? The dinges man! I can’t remember what it’s called…”
  3. “Mos” – This word can be added to any language and can be used in every single sentence! I like to call this one a sentence enhancer. An example of this word in a sentence: “You know that pizza… that flavor we mos always get is lekker hey!”
  4. “Lekker” – This word can be used in many different settings, the direct translation from Afrikaans is either “sweet” (like candy) or “nice”… This word is used as an adjective, find the example in the previous point.
  5. “Bru” – This word is very common amongst the surfers and the ‘cool dudes’ and ‘dudettes’ (Obviously I use this word) It’s basically a shortened word for “brother”, so kind like “bro” except it’s pronounced like “Brew”.
  6. “Babbalas” – The other word for this is “hungover”… This word is usually mentioned in conversations on Mondays when some people are still “lekker babbalas” from Saturday night!
  7. “Shame” – This does not mean that we’re saying “What a shame”. This word is actually a very nice thing to say, you should feel flattered when a South African says shame to you because it means they care and sympathize with you. An example of this word in a sentence after you tell a South African that you broke your favorite toe; “Aw, shame! I hope your toe heals quickly!”
  8. “Now-Now” – The second “…now…”doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen immediately. This basically means you’ll do it in the next five minutes to an hour, but it will happen.
  9. “Just now” – Very different to “Now-Now”… This usually means you’ll try to do it later but it’s just procrastination and whatever you’re supposed to do “just now” is just not gonna happen.
  10. “See you later” –  Now this one should be a given, like when I say that I’m gonna see you later, you’d expect me to actually see you later right but no, Not in South Africa. In South Africa someone might say they’ll “see you later” while at the airport, getting ready to board the plane!

 

And there are many more! If you enjoyed this post please comment and I’ll try my best to do a part 2 🙂

 

Thank you so much for reading! Have an awesome day my lovelies 🙂

COMPLIMENTING 101

In my previous post I ranted about The DREADED… CAT-CALL (GO CHECK IT OUT if you haven’t) and I promised I would share a few ways on how to compliment a woman… properly. 

If by now you haven’t noticed that there is a wrong way to compliment a woman, I am here to help you onto the right path. So… you should’ve gone and read my previous post, if you did you would have seen the examples of the wrong way to compliment a woman. (I’m not repeating 😉 so make your way to that post.)

Someone once told me that I shouldn’t complain about something if I can’t fix it or if I don’t intend on trying to fix it. That’s why… I am going to help you discover the right way to compliment women. To fix the problem that is street harassment.

 

A few steps before we get to the good stuff.

Step 1: Never whistle, Never yell from your car, Never lick your lips and do the up-and-down look thing. NEVER do these things. It is never something that a woman enjoys from a stranger.

Step 2: Never say something distasteful. So anything along the lines of “Nice boobs” or “You wearing that for me?” DO NOT do it. You can think what you want but don’t say what you want. When last did a lady comment on your little tank top and ask if you’re wearing that for her? Exactly. Repay the favor.

Step 2: Be a gentleman. Stay classy and respectful. If you like what you see please realize that there is a way to tell her in such a way that she’ll be like putty in your hands. This is a fine art that clearly few have perfected but it’s not rocket science.

 

Let’s get down to business now. 

WELCOME to Compliments 101!!!

Now I’ve explained the do’s and don’ts. But it’s finally time to tell you what you’re allowed to compliment her on… and what you’re not allowed to compliment her on. We will start with what’s allowed.

GO AHEADS:

  • You can tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous. (But use this one carefully too… REMEMBER,stay classy)
  • You’re allowed to say that she has the cutest laugh you’ve ever heard!
  • Compliment her on the way she walks. No one has the same gait… And it’s just not something one usually gets complimented on, so it’s appreciated.
  • Everyone has a unique style. GO AHEAD AND COMPLIMENT HER STYLE man!

You can never go wrong if you compliment her hair. If it’s dyed a funky colour, tell her you like it! If it.s braided beautifully, let her know how amazing it looks! You never know how long that braid might’ve taken her.

  • Compliment her mind. She’ll be smiling for the next week or two if you say something like that.

 

NEVER: 

  • Never remark on her boobs or butt… Come on dude. Really? That is the last thing a girl who’s worth your effort is going to appreciate especially when it comes from a some random guy at the beach or mall, etc.
  • Don’t ever say something that will make her uncomfortable.
  • Do not force yourself on her. PLEASE remember there’s a thing called a personal bubble. A personal bubble is something that does not need to be invaded by a lower life form. (You only become a lower life form once you invade without approval)
  • Don’t ask if she’s wearing something for you. She’s not. (The setting is still while you’re a stranger. If you’re married or dating then it’s safe to ask) Most women are not going to wear something to impress a guy they’ve never even seen before.

 

One last tip. Be confident but not too cocky/arrogant. Don’t treat her like you’re better than her. Don’t humiliate her to boost your ego.

 

Thank you for reading… I hope this helps and I hope you have an amazing day complimenting women the right way 🙂

 

The DREADED… CAT-CALL

*DISCLAIMER* I’m going to be a bit of a feminist;)

Let’s picture a scenario quickly…

You’re going to the beach today with one of your good friends and you’re bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. You’re dressed in a cute sundress with your favorite swimsuit underneath… and you are feeling extra confident today; you’re having a good hair day and no unexpected breakouts.

And now you’re at the beach, you and your friend go for a stroll and you walk past a group of guys. . . they’re staring at you and your friend and they mumble something under their breath and then    right at that moment.. your day, the day that started out so well is turned sour because those guys thought it would be a good idea to say something to you that will make you feel like a piece of meat. You might hear something like: “I like what I see!”, “You wearing that dress for me?” or “Nice legs babe”.  And you ignore it because you don’t want to ruin the good day you’re having. But then it happens again and again and by the time you leave the beach the only thing you want to do is become a nun because it seems like the easiest way out…

 

If you cannot relate to that scenario in even the smallest way then you, my dear friend are so blessed and I wish I were you. But the reality is that there is no way you have not experienced something like this before and if you really haven’t, don’t think you’re immune. The day will come. And it will not be a pleasant day.

In my 16 years of living, I have dealt with my fair share of cat-calling believe it or not. If you don’t know what cat-calling is… here’s what Urban Dictionary says: “When a guy gives the wert whirl whistle or yells at a girl for the purpose of getting attention and in hopes of a future hookup…” Now we all know what that ‘wert whistle’ sounds like and the yelling as mentioned earlier is usually some supposed compliment. I say “…supposed compliment…” These little remarks are never a compliment, they’re more like a tactic to humiliate the woman and dehumanize her by making oneself (the male) the dominant one in the situation. And the worst part is, every guy that does thinks the woman is flattered by his ability to whistle or his ability to yell something while he hangs out of his car window.

*NEW DISCLAIMER* Please allow me to rant for the next paragraph or so..

 

First of all. NO. It’s not flattering, ever. All of my experiences that I’ve had have never made me more confident, my confidence would drop by at least 20% and the more you stare the faster it drops. I don’t care how attractive I look to you and I certainly don’t care how much you like what I’m wearing. NO. I’m not wearing it for you. I am however wearing this death stare for you… I know your hooter/horn works you do not need to demonstrate it for me.

But let’s make this an “us” thing. I’m gonna bring everyone into this instead of just females. To the cat-calling men. How would you feel if some guy said exactly what you just said to that lady to your mother or your sister or your wife or… your only daughter? How would you feel about that? Feel free to let that thought eat you from the inside… think about how she would feel. Think about who she’s going to go to about what she just experienced, there’s a very high possibility she won’t tell anyone and she’ll just see herself as an object to pleasure some sexually frustrated man.

This lovely woman, a woman you love dearly could be dealing with this. Most women can honestly say that being cat-called is not something you get over very easily. It’s known as street harassment and it is really so degrading. But tell me… how does one react to it? How does one deal with it? How does one prevent it?

Good luck with trying to find a solution. Because no matter how hard you try to tell the guy or group of guys to stop or to go away.. they never listen, it’s just one big joke to them. Telling someone is just as useless because what can they really do about it? Prevention? That’s never going to happen. You can be wearing anything from baggy pajamas to a little bikini and you’ll get the remarks anyway.

 

Here’s a quick something though. There’s a right way to compliment a woman and then there’s a wrong way. If you’re gonna say something like “Hey sexy, nice boobs”, etc (Which btw is the wrong way to compliment a woman) she is gonna look at you like you’re the scum of the earth and she’ll probably say something like “Go away! Please leave me alone” or if she’s like me she’ll say “I hope you sit on a cactus” and you’ll think she can’t take a compliment when she says that but really she’s actually not flattered at all. I don’t care who are… do not EVER say that to a woman!

 Guys, please realize that no girl is ever going to turn around and want to talk to you because you just said that. You are never going to get a girlfriend like that. I PINKY SWEAR. It has never happened and will never happen so j u s t  STOP.

 

If you’ve stuck around for this long and you want to know how to properly compliment a woman do me a favor and read my next blog post. (Which will hopefully be soon)

kayla-blog-cat-call

Thank you so much for reading and don’t hesitate to indulge in ranting in the comment section!

Toodles! Enjoy your day and I hope it’s free from cat-calling!

6 AWESOME curly hair LIFE HACKS <3

To my dear curly-haired friends…

I would know that having curly hair is no walk in the park and we would do anything for a good life hack! Am I right? That’s why I have compiled a list of a few life hacks that have improved my curly-haired life… 

  1. When you shampoo your hair, only “shampoo” your scalp. Because the oil on your hair is on your scalp and the hair in that region is healthy enough. Don’t worry the water will rinse the shampoo off over the tips of your hair so it won’t be dirty…
  2. BTW… you can skip using shampoo when you wash your sometimes…
  3. When conditioning your hair, only condition the tips. It’s a two for one because you’ll have more conditioner to hydrate the tips of your hair! I know you use around this amount and more —> conditioner-kayla-blog
  4. Don’t rinse all the conditioner out completely… That conditioner doesn’t just hydrate your hair! it can also magnify your BEAUTIFUL curls.
  5. Never EVER towel dry your hair!!! Use a 100% cotton T-Shirt to dry your hair! You’ll minimize a lot of frizz. Also don’t dry your hair vigorously! Just pat dry…
  6. When your hair loses it’s amazing volume and the curls become just random clumps of hair (If this is just me please let me know… because then I have a problem) you don’t need to hide your hair in a bun or something… There’s this amazing thing called WATERRRR!!! So you take an empty spray bottle and you fill it with water and you use that to refresh your hair. Just try it. It’s amazeballs!!

 

I hope these life hacks help you in your walk as a chick or dude (cause damnnn some guys have good hair let’s not lie) with curly hair!!! Please don’t hesitate to tell me about your rare life hacks cause I deff need to know about them!

Thanks for reading, have an amazing CURLY hair dayxx

 

 

South Africanism 101

To those of you who don’t already know this…I am from South Africa.

 

Now I know you’re probably thinking: “Africaaaaa.. Wow. So like mud huts, and do you like ride an elephant to school? Do you have like pet lions? Wait… that’s where Ebola is right?” So if any of those thoughts just went through your mind, you’re wrong.

South Africa is pretty much like any other country just a bit different… For example:

Our candy is so much better! Here’s just a few…

kayla-blog-sweets

Then… we have these amazing things called KOEKSISTERS!!! It’s like twisted dough and then deep-fried and drowned in a really sweet syrup!

kayla-blog-koeksisters

We also have the 2nd best surf spot in the world!!!

jeffreys-bay-kayla-blog

We have 11 official languages. Does your country have that many official languages? Yeah.. thought so.

kayla-blog-11-languages

We are known as the RAINBOW NATION dude.

 

Stay tuned for some more South African-ness…

thank you for reading x